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Boundaries in Marriage | 
 enlarge | Authors: Henry Cloud, John Townsend
Publisher: Zondervan
Category: Book
List Price: $21.99
Buy New: $14.59
You Save: $7.40 (34%)
New (37) Used (42) Collectible (3) from $4.47
Rating:  16 reviews
Sales Rank: 26978
Media: Hardcover
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 256
Shipping Weight (lbs): 1
Dimensions (in): 9.1 x 5.6 x 0.9
ISBN: 031022151X
Dewey Decimal Number: 306.81
EAN: 9780310221517
ASIN: 031022151X
Publication Date: September 1, 1999
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Amazon.com Review
Establishing and understanding boundaries are crucial to the success of a marriage, according to authors Cloud and Townsend, who cowrote the award-winning and biblically-based book Boundaries. For example, boundaries help us understand where one person ends and the other begins, the authors claim: "Once we know the boundaries, we know who should be owning the problem we are wrestling with," they write. "This issue of ownership is vital to any relationship, especially marriage." But more significantly, couples need to claim and take responsibility for the "treasures that lie within their individual borders," such as: "feelings, attitudes, behaviors, choices, limits, desires, thoughts, values, talents, and love." Based on the book that elevated them to national prominence, Cloud and Townsend caution readers not to use this self-help manifesto as a means to change one's spouse. Rather, this is a book about taking responsibility for oneself in all aspects of life, but especially within the boundaries of marital commitment.
Product Description
This book helps you understand the friction points or serious hurts in your marriage--and move beyond them to the mutual care, respect, affirmation, and intimacy you both long for.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 11 more reviews...
 east to follow May 16, 2008
This is a really good book. I also read the "Boundaries" book by both authors. It really helped me out with my issues of allowing others to take advantage of me. I was always giving but felt bad about how horribly I was being treated by the people who are close to me whom I gave to. Well, I took a stab at the Boundaries in Marriage book. What was most helpful to me was seeing samples of other couples in the book which is something I could relate to as well as the scriptures. I saw a review that said Boundaries are not allowing you to become one but in the book it says it allows you to take a look at yourself and change yourself because you cannot change anyone and keep your focus on Christ. Being focused on Christ in your marriage is hard when you are always thinking of how your spouse hurt you and what they did, believe me, I used to let those thoughts consume me. Sometimes people will keep running over you if there are never any consequences. Time and time again the Israelites sinned against God and were punished--they repented to God when they were in pain. Sometimes repeatedly hurtful behavior on both parties part has to be confronted with consequences (not revenge) so change can occur. The book has helped me, sometimes I have to refer back and be reminded because what is in the book is easy but sometimes in the heat of the moment harder to apply.
Changing your mindset April 3, 2008
I have suggested this book to many of my friends. Not because they have marital issues, but because its a wonderful book to change your thinking. One review said that creating boundries in your marriage cause division instead of creating "one flesh" as the bible says, however I disagree. I believe the boundaries that the authors are asking us to make enable a couple to experience one flesh more abundantly then before. The boundaries set in place are to cause more dependancy on Christ and less on your spouse or self. A more Christ centered life will cause healing in a relationship better then focusing on your spouse.
My husband and I picked this book up around valentines day for something for us to read together. We are all about learning as much as we can so that we can grow to the fullest as a couple. Being newly married we don't really have any issues, but have really enjoyed this book and what it has to say. My main suggestion in reading this book is to focus on what you need to change not what your spouse needs to change. Our automatic reaction is to point out the other persons faults and needed areas of growth, but in order to really get what this book is saying you must focus on yourself and what God wants YOU to change. Try reading it together. It will help you focus on the areas you need to improve! Happy Reading!
Enlightening, and a tremendous help June 6, 2007
Its been slow going with this book, but that's primarily due to the fact that I keep stopping to make notes, and reflect back on my own issues before reading ahead, something I've rarely done before. I've tried other self-help but usually speed read thru those without getting anything substantial from them - quite the opposite with this book.
For those who read the other reviews, you'll see some references to the Bible and Christian teaching - I am a Christian (fairly new) but was not aware that this book had those references, so was happily surprised to find them. For those who have an open mind, don't let a handful of bible verses sway you againt the book, especially when you realize that that it is basically common sense (i.e. Take the log out of your own eye before looking to remove the speck from someone eles's - don't judge cuz you probably have your own faults).
I found and continue to find the material especially helpful in my marriage. I can't tell you how often the 'common sense stuff' here has been overlooked in our relationship. Moreso, this book has helped me uncover the underlying root causes to the issues we struggled with, while prior counseling barely scratched the surface. Addressing these has been a huge catalyst in making things better for my wife and I.
I've already recommended this to 2 friends of mine, and will continue to do so w/o being too pushy. But, as the old adage goes, you know what they say about opinions. Ultimately, is a $15 investment worth a better or more solid relationship..? sounds extreme, but i would have easliy paid 100X more if I knew it would get me to where we are today.
I've already ordered "Boundaries for Kids" and can't wait to begin that one.
Saved my marriage November 6, 2006
4 out of 4 found this review helpful
My therapist recommended this book to me and it made a world of difference in my life. I was close to packing up and leaving. I read it from cover to cover and it put a lot of things into perspective. Then my husband picked it up. All of a sudden he was able to see life through my eyes and understood that being a breadwinner in the family was not his only role in the family. Although he was not cheating on me physically, he was cheating on me emotionally. We were able to stop hating each other for who we are not and loving each other for who we are. I am no longer looking for a way out. I am looking for ways to make us tronger.
Great August 10, 2005
1 out of 2 found this review helpful
As one who is currently struggling in marriage, attending therapy, attempting to learn my boundaries and have others respect them, this is an excellent book. I am also a Christian, and although I don't crack open the bible to review each passage mentioned, it doesn't bother me that they refer to it either.
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