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The Enlightened Stepmother: Revolutionizing the Role | 
 enlarge | Authors: Perdita K. Norwood, Teri Wingender
Publisher: Harper Paperbacks
List Price: $15.95
Buy New: $10.85
You Save: $5.10 (32%)
New (32) Used (28) from $3.55
Rating:  31 reviews
Media: Paperback
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 464
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.7
Dimensions (in): 7.8 x 5.2 x 1.2
ISBN: 038079604X
Dewey Decimal Number: 306.874
EAN: 9780380796045
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| Editorial Reviews:
Product Description
Becoming a stepmother is a life-altering event in any woman's life. The issues are extraordinarily complex and women are overwhelmingly unprepared. Yet concerns usually focus on the effect remarriage has on the children. The Enlightened Stepmother approaches the subject from a totally new perspective -- that of the stepmother. Based on information -- sometimes controversial -- from stepmoms of all ages, occupations and lifestyles, who know from experience what works, what doesn't and why -- What you need to know about your new family before you become part of it.How to get off to the right start. (It's hard to change a relationship once you've taken the path of least resistance.)How to prevent, rather than cure, the stepmom's classic pitfalls.What you need to recognize about your relationship with your husband's children.How to handle relationships between your kids and his.Why you need to give your marriage top priority.How to make sure others are aware that this is your life too.Why you need to develop a working relationship with your stepchildren's mother.How to understand the inevitable stages every stepfamily passes through.How to overcome the guilt of not loving -- or even liking -- your stepchildren.How to avoid feeling guilty in circumstances over which you have no control.Why a successful stepfamily is as unique as every stepmom.AND MUCH MORE
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| Customer Reviews: Read 26 more reviews...
 Do NOT Read This Book: Overly Negative and Depressing December 8, 2008
I got this book because the title seemed encouraging. I am currently married to a man and am a very happy stepmom of two boys ages 5 and 7. During my critical decision making period where I was deciding if being a Stepmom was for me I read this book. I'm very glad I read "The Career Girl's Guide to Becoming a Stepmom" before this one. If you are looking for solid advice which is realistic but POSITIVE - read it. Skip this one. I am fortunate to be in a healthy 'co-parenting' situation with a supportive husband regarding me and my role with parenting the kids (at the time I read this book - a healthy situation with kids/boyfriend). However, after reading this book I was depressed for days. It made me doubt (without real evidence) my role with the kids, the impact I could have in their lives and the actual VALUE that good stepmoms bring to a stepkid's life. If you want to feel de-valued as a woman who parents children with a bleak outlook on the kind of POSTIVE role you can have as a stepmom and wife - read this book. I fully understand there are very challenging and sad situations people can be in. However, there are positive ones as well. Yes, they did survey real stepmoms for this book so the data is accurate but it seems that their 'sample size' consisted of a lot of sad, and depressed women. They didn't seem to balance that out with those who are successful and happy and/or satisfied in their roles. You need to make a decision with your 'eyes open' to be a stepmom. However a more well-rounded but equally 'real' view is needed. Not all stepmom situations are bleak as this book concludes. Indeed, you CAN have a positive impact in a child's role. It isn't the same as a bio-mom but is still invaluable. This book leaves you feeling defeated and devalued before you start. Skip it and read "The Career Girl's Guide To Becoming a Stepmom". You can get it on Amazon.
 Get this Book -- Excellent! June 18, 2008
This is the best book about becoming a stepmother. I wish that I had it when I initially became one. It provides a great deal of clarity for the role and many helpful techniques to navigate a difficult path. Have your husband read it as well -- it will be a value resource for you both.
Straightforward and No-Nonsense June 11, 2008
This is a book that gets right to the point and doesn't waste my time throwing fakey "hugs and support" icons my way. It treats me as an independent and highly competent adult. The facts are there, the likelihoods, probabilities and tendencies and indications are all spelled out as well. It was well-written and researched and held my attention.
This book may have saved my marriage (time will tell.) The plain-spoken-ness of the text informed me and my husband more concisely than the $250/hr psychologist we had been seeing.
If you are or about to become a stepmother, read it now. Let me repeat, read it now.
 Helpful Info, Truthiness in this book February 26, 2008
I ordered this book based off of all the positive reviews it included. While I did find some helpful tips, this was a difficult book to read. It was very matter of fact and a bit doom and gloom.
The book seemed to focus on you having an "out" for your marriage too. It was a very tough read.
It is also more helpful for those that have been married previously and have children from a previous marriage.
MUST read BEFORE you marry into a family with children!! August 2, 2007
For my situation, this did not apply until about the third to the last page. Until I got to that page of pertinence, I thought, "I wish I would have read this book several years ago."
This is a good combination of common sense, good advice and interesting introspect. Some hard to hear but astute lessons are here. Reading this before marriage would have saved me a lot of headache and heartache. Simple, straightforward and easily applicable.
The sample group of women that the author refers to as the people she interviewed for the writing of this book are as varied as there are women in the world. It was great to hear that some of the women interviewed were: younger, older, working, stay at home, resentful, dedicated, loyal, forgiving, and one ultimately was divorced. It makes it clear to the reader that not just one kind of stepmom is successful and that if you feel guilty, unloved, unloving or unmotivated, you aren't alone, aren't abnormal and aren't wrong. Women from any perspecive will find valuable information in this book.
I was married for three years and went through hell and back before this was recommended to me. I wish I had found it sooner.
(If you feel unsupported by your husband, you won't find anything that will make you feel better until almost the end of the book. Read the whole thing anyway...it is all pertinent. Either divorce him, don't marry him, or read this book to him.)
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