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Ex-Wives and Ex-Lives: Survival Guide for the Next Wife | 
 enlarge | Author: Paula J. Egner
Publisher: Aptly Spoken Enterprises
Category: Book
Buy New: $10.95
New (3) Used (4) from $6.40
Rating:  18 reviews
Sales Rank: 85004
Media: Paperback
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 128
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.4
Dimensions (in): 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.4
ISBN: 097529640X
Dewey Decimal Number: 306.84
EAN: 9780975296400
ASIN: 097529640X
Publication Date: August 2004
Shipping: Eligible for Super Saver Shipping
Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours
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Product Description
A candid (albeit at times tongue-in-cheek) expose of the challenges of remarriage, told from the second wife's perspective. Unlike books written by those who have never experienced being a second wife, the author of Ex-Wives and Ex-Lives is an ex-wife, a second wife, a bio-mom, and a stepmother. Reading this book is like sitting down with an old friend - a remarried friend who knows first-hand what you are going through. You will come away with the assurance that you are not alone in your struggles as a second wife. Even more, you will know that it is not you that is crazy, but rather the crazy-making situation called remarriage.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 13 more reviews...
 Ex-Wives and Ex-Lives: Survival Guide for the Next Wife November 16, 2008
Although I generally liked the book, I would have liked to have had more "solutions" along with the scenarios Engler introduces.
 Did not help me at all. September 29, 2008
I read the book, took maybe 3 hours total. I needed help with dealing with my husband's ex. Granted, the book is very entertaining, but no real tips to help with a crazy ex-wife. If you want a fun book to read but nothing to help, then this is the book for you.
 Greatly recommended August 28, 2008
2 out of 2 found this review helpful
I was never married but my husband was twice-divorced with two kids when we met. His first wife with whom he did not have any kids was a mature and decent woman. His second was a nightmare. Their marriage was doomed from the beginning because of the disparity in temperament and intellect. My husband was single for six years when we got married.
Well, I lived in hell for the first two years of my marriage. I was all confused, miserable, and was at a loss as to how to deal with the situation before I read this book. Knowing that there are others facing the same situation and that I was not responsible for my husband's ex and his kids' behavior made me feel stronger. I now put my boundaries firmly for my husband, his over-spoiled kids, and his wicked ex-wife. Things are under control and we live in relative peace now. My advice to women contemplating marriage to men with kids is that BEFORE MARRIAGE make sure that:
1.he puts his priorities right (his life partner should be his first priority)
2.he is supportive of you
3.he has a healthy relationship with his kids which involves love, respect, structure and discipline
4.he is firm with his ex
5.he and you see eye to eye with each other's expectations of marriage
Never, ever marry an over-indulgent father with a bitter ex-wife in the background, unless you are seeking martyrdom, not happiness and companionship. If he cannot keep his baggage from his previous relationships under control, the marriage is not worth saving. Get out while you can and learn from the experience. Remember, only "he" can keep his house in order, not you. And contrary to what some people believe, it's the ex-wives who have to bend over backwards to get along with new wives so that these new wives will treat their step-kids right. That is, if these ex-wives' priority is their children's happiness. It is completely unacceptable for ex-wives to take out their bitterness and failures on their ex-husbands by turning their kids against their fathers, using their kids for emotional blackmail, and sabotaging their ex-husbands' new marriages by creating havoc in their households. If you are caught in an unhappy situation like this, just look into yourself, see how much you can take, and set appropriate boundaries to keep your sanity and happiness. Don't be overly concerned with what others might think. You can succeed if your husband is with you. If he is not with you, again, the marriage is not worth saving.
Finally, a book I can learn from and relate to - the perfect combination! October 12, 2007
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
Rarely have I found information on being the "next wife". One day while Googling I found this amazing book and read it through in one sitting. I know I am one of many ex-wives/next wives, but the fact that I have come to understand how others are going through what I am going through . . . I am not alone. While I didn't experience everything in the book, I certainly identified with it!
It is so refreshing to hear an authentic voice from someone who clearly understands my situation, instead of just a textbook written from someone who might not have ever actually experienced being a second wife. (I want to learn from someone who is there!) Ex-Wives and Ex-Lives is a good starting place, ending place, and in-between place for understanding the complexities of re-marriage. I have recommended it to my friends who have stepchildren, and those who have struggled like me to define my role . . . it is on my MUST READ list.
 Ex wifes and Ex lives October 1, 2007
This book is great to tell ex wifes what is coming or what is normal but it does not give steps or suggetions on how to deal with the situation which is what i thought survival guide meant. This did not help me.
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